New Friend Request

WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT:

Here is an overview of what we’re talking about. Listed below the summary is a “parent cue” to help you dialog with your child about the session. The question is intended not just to be asked by you, but to be responded to by BOTH of you. Use this opportunity to find out what God is teaching your child, and allow your child to see what God is teaching you as well.

NEW FRIEND REQUEST:

We all want friends—even if we don’t want to admit it. We all want someone to hang out with, someone to talk to, someone who knows us. But friendship requires something from us. It’s not just what we get or what makes us feel comfortable or happy. There’s a smart way to do friendship, a way with intention, a way that will draw us closer to God’s heart—if we surround ourselves with the right people. That doesn’t mean our friends have to be clones of us—but it does mean that they at least help us move in the right direction.

Session One: Accept?

Having friends is great. Whether you want one, or you already have one, there’s just something about having other people in your life who you can count on. For many, friendships just happen. A new friend is in the right place at the right time. And while friendships may start out randomly, there is an intentionality about who we allow close to us—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Because the people who are closest to you have influence on your life. They help shape who you are. So who are the friends closest to you . . . and how are they influencing you?

Session One Parent Cue: Who are some of your closest friends? Why are these people so important to you?

Session Two: Respond?

Someone to listen to my problems. Someone to do stuff with. Someone to talk to constantly. Someone to hang out with. When you make a list of what qualities you want in a friend, how many of the things on your list involve what that person can do for you? Most of us would have to admit that it’s a lot. But the best friendships are ones that are not just about what the other person can do for you—the best friendships also involve how you can be there for someone else. How you can listen, instead of always talking. How you can give someone space when he or she needs it, or just hang out when your friend needs that too. In other words, the best friendships are not centered solely on you—and that’s a good thing.

Session Two Parent Cue: What are some ways you’ve been able to help out your friends?

Session Three: Ignore?

Relationships=conflict. It’s natural. It’s part of two people relating to one another because at some point, you’re not going to agree. One person will do something the other person doesn’t like. One person will let the other person down. One person will say or do something stupid. It happens. And at some point, it happens to us—either we’re the person making the mess, or the one who is feeling the effects of the mess. So how do you navigate your way through the drama? Do you just ignore it and hope it goes away? Do you just drop that friend? Or do you find a way to work it out? The choice is yours.

Session Three Parent Cue: What is the biggest fight you’ve ever had with a friend? What was the outcome?

Worship through the Pain

Now, I don’t have kids, but my wife recently began babysitting for a 5 month old and boy are we learning a lot.  One of the things we’ve learned is how much easier (although creepier) it would be if babies could tell us what they want.  But instead all they can do is fuss and cry and as a parent (and babysitter) it kills you to hear a baby cry and experience sadness.  So we pick up the baby and calm him/her down.  But the problem is that sometimes we are doing more harm than good.  Babies, if they are held every time they cry, can become conditioned to cry any time they want to be held and cannot live life outside of the arms of a parent or babysitter.  So sometimes, a baby needs to cry themselves to sleep, even though it may kill a parent to allow it to happen.

This week your student is learning about worshipping through hurt pain and frustration just like the psalmists do.  We all filter the experiences in our lives through our emotions. They are the God–given lens we use to process the everyday occurrences that challenge us, hurt us, and give us hope. For your student, the world is a cycle of experiences, emotions, and responses. As we have been walking through this three-week series on worship, we are taking a look at the Psalms in order to try to understand what the writer was feeling and how they processed through their emotions honestly with God. Their worship expression can be one of joy, lament, grief, or praise, recognizing that God accepts our worship no matter what emotional state we are in.

But as parents and youth leaders we want to protect our students from hurt and pain.  This life is hard and it is hard to watch students go through difficult times.  Many times we just want to help students get past their pain as fast as possible.  We say things like, “God has a plan” and try to manage their emotions so that they are ok.  But, do we do more harm than good?  Do we help students suppress their emotions or do we help students process through their emotions.  Think about it?   How do you respond when your student goes through pain and difficulty?  Do you allow them to feel sadness, anger, disappointment, struggle, and pain?  Do you say things like, “Don’t be sad or angry? God has a plan.”  Or do you say things like, “How does that make you feel?  Why do you feel that way?  Have you ever told God how you feel about this situation?”  We don’t want our students to get hurt, but when they do how do we help them worship God by processing through their real emotions?

Next time your student doesn’t make the team, doesn’t get the solo, doesn’t make the grade, gets rejected by a friend, or fails at something they really wanted to succeed in, how are you going to respond?  How can you help them process through their emotions and help them know that God can handle their emotions?

Bonus:  What kind of emotions are you feeling right now?  Why do you feel that way?  Have you ever told God?  Spend some time thinking or journaling about these questions.  How can you model how you worship in hard times?

Parent Cue- Through the Window

Hey there! We are kicking off our first series of the year with Through the Window a look at what worship really means. Below is an overview of the series and each session. There are some questions for you to engage further with your student.

Through the Window:

Series Overview

What comes to mind when you think of the word “worship?” Whether it’s choir robes or skinny jeans, we all have some idea of what worship looks like. For most of us, worship is pretty personal, even if it’s something we have experienced with lots of other people around us. For others, worship is nothing more than singing a few songs every week before hearing a message. But what would happen if we took this idea of worship and blew it up? What if we could rearrange our picture of what worship is and get a fuller view of how we can worship God with our lives, even in the midst of some messy circumstances? Worship can be about expressing praise to God through music but it’s really about so much more. It’s about community. It’s about identity. It’s about letting who God is speak into every part of our wonderful and sometimes complicated lives.

Session 1: We Are Together

We sit in rows, week after week, singing songs, listening to messages and “doing” church. But what happens when we go home? What happens when real life hits and all of the sudden the idea of “worship” needs to be broader—your definition of who God is needs to be broader? Worship is about us and God, but it’s about so much more. It’s about the past. It’s about the people in our present life and it’s about the activity of our day in and day out world. Worship isn’t just singing songs. Worship is how we live our lives.

Session 1 Parent Cue: How would you define worship? How have you experienced worship, both privately and publicly? Is worship something you enjoy? What do you think of the idea that we can worship God with both music and also with our lives?

Session 2: We Are His

Have you ever thought of your anger, pain and sadness as an avenue for worship? We often think that worship is only about expressing our feelings to God when we are happy and life is going just as we want it to. But, God is big enough to hear our complaints too! As a matter of fact, God wants us to be honest with Him—and not just kind of honest, completely honest. Worship is about other people and it’s also about the beautiful, authentic relationship we have with the One who made us and knows us inside and out. Authentic worship is what reminds us that we belong to God.

Session 2 Parent Cue: What do you think about the idea that even our angry feelings can be used as worship? How does knowing that God can handle that part of you change your view of Him?

Session 3: We Are Grateful

When we see our worship as more than just a few minutes on Sunday morning and learn to be honest with God in our worship, we begin to get a more complete picture of who God is and who we are. But once we have broken into an authentic view of worship and learned that it’s ok to express the deepest parts of ourselves to God, where do we go? How do we move forward and not get stuck in the process of pain and hurt? When we remember the former things—when we remember who God has been to us in the past—we allow God to rearrange our broken window into something new and beautiful.

Session 3 Parent Cue: Do you think you tend to see life through the lens of your pain or through who you know God to be? What are the characteristics of God you have seen when He came through for you in some really tough times? How would seeing God this way all the time change the way you handle more difficult times?

Back to School

Today, school starts for most of the students in the area.  Did your kids start school today?  How are you doing ?  How does that make you feel?  Relieved?  Excited?  Worried? Nervous? Calm? Stressed? Proud? Happy? Old? For some of you there are some big changes this year, while there are others of you who have students who have been there and done that middle school thing.  Regardless, this is a new year I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your kids today. 

This is a new year, which means it is the time to figure out your family routine.  What does your home look like after school and in the evenings?  Is there time to engage in authentic conversation with your kids?  Is there time to have a meal together?  Is there time to spend time together as a family?  Control your schedule so that your schedule doesn’t control you.

I pray that God blesses you and your family this school year.  By the way, you are reading The Parent’s Edge blog.  Find more about the blog in the previous post below.